tea and theology

to start things off... we have running water!!! yay! it was a great feeling to wake up (although it was 730...for my 8 o clock...abnormal psychology) and be able to turn on water to brush my teeth and wash my face! its amazing how i so easily take for granted things like running water.

Today has been great, I love Tuesdays and Thursdays. I have my 8 o clock and then nada till 430 when i have my understanding families class on Thursdays. I took a nice long shower (after two and half days without one...dont judge ha) and then went to lunch. Surprisingly the vegetarian section was quite delicious today, yummy yummy quiche. I came back to my room, talked to my mom, and finished some greek homework. And now I am drinking some delicious tea and thinking about how I dont know anything. :)

I believe I would be what they call a 'tea snob' (it really isnt as snooty as it sounds, i just happen to love a good loose leaf tea that you have to strain yourself) I can think back to how this little, shall we say, hobby (?) came about. My sister went to England when I was ten and brought back a tea pot and loose leaf tea. I remember many afternoons during that summer when I would make my fancy tea in the tea pot, make little tea sandwiches ( i even used this special thing my mom had to make the edges of the sandwiches fancy haha), and sit down for "tea time." This fascination continued and was upgraded when my sister took me to Chelsea's Tea Room, in the historic Biltmore Village (Asheville really does have some of the best places). While there, we were asked to be filmed enjoying our tea and scones. It was great, I got to really act out my role as the little "proper and fancy" girl that I was pretending to be. ( Now a days, tea time consists of my heating some water up in a mug in my microwave and barely giving the tea enough time to steep before I guzzle it down and head off to all that my busy day requires of me) So, all this background knowledge just to say that right now, I am actually taking the time to enjoy my cup of tea.

(note: Although I do love tea, this cannot compare to the much needed coffee that I consume each day)

So as I am enjoying my tea, I have been thinking about how sometimes I feel like I dont know much about anything. And by anything I mean theology. As a religion major you would think that I do ( and I guess I do know a good deal) but I can't help and compare myself to some of my really smart friends who just know all these big words and say things that are really profound. The other day I was driving with my friends Jamie and Wyatt and I confessed to them that sometimes I get nervous about entering in to conversations because I'm scared I will forget whether "Calvinism is predestination or free will" or confuse the definitions of "orthodoxy and orthopraxy." (if none of these words make sense to you, dont worry, you are not alone)

The response I got from both of these guys was, "yeah you kinda just figure it out, and 'bs' your way through it." And that got me thinking: I, more than anything, do not want to be seen as some pompous person who goes around babbling about empty theology. I promised myself when I decided to be a religion major that I would not let my "knowledge and intellect" become more powerful than my "pure faith in Jesus." That is my biggest fear. I see it all around me, and I want no part of it. I, of course, want to learn, and know terms, and understand the history of Christianity, but I dont want these things to overshadow my own personal relationship with Jesus.

So as far as I am concerned, I do know much more today then I did a year ago, and I know that I have my entire lifetime to fill my mind with useless ( and useful) information that I can blurt out when I feel insecure and want people to think I'm smart. (:

I have been reading The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer (if you havent figured it out yet, I read a whole lot) and felt so much more at ease after hearing the simple truth that this theologian (who came from a long line of theologians) wants all to understand. Last night, before I fell asleep I was reading his words on "cheap grace" and believe he was so on target. (Of course, he is speaking from a Lutheran stand point- of falling away from catholicism and monasticism- and embracing the idea of "grace" is all it takes- but then seeing how the church has cheapened that grace) According to Bonhoeffer, we have secularized the Christian faith by cheapening grace:

But if grace is the data for my Christian life, it means that I set out to live the Christian life in the world with all my sins justified beforehand. I can go an sin as much as I like, and rely on this grace to forgive me, for after all the world is justified in principle by grace. I can therefore cling to my bourgeois secular existence, and remain as I was before, but with the added assurance that the grace of God will cover me. It is under the influence of this kind of "grace" that the world has been made "Christian," but at the cost of secularizing the Christian religion as never before. The antithesis between the Christian life and the life of bourgeois respectability is at an end. The Christian life comes to mean nothing more than living in the world and as the world, in being no different from the world. - The Cost of Discipleship

We need to remember this and strive for "costly grace." I will never say that our faith and salvation is based on works. But as a disciple of Jesus we must leave everything and follow Him. And to do that, means to live a physical life that is different than the world.

So I just finished my cup of tea and am off to my Understanding Families class. Let me turn my mind off of theology and get in "counselor mode." (This is actually a lie...for me, my theology plays wholy into my views of psychology and my desires to be a counselor)

Peace.